In fact, if i were a character in those Alien movies, they would use me as a decoy to kill all the aliens.
Commanding Officer - "All right Jared, all you have to do is go in that room and see if there are any aliens in there."
Me - "Okay."
Then i would just walk in and look around
Me - "Are there any aliens in here?"
Alien - "Rrrrrrrooowwwwwwwwerrrrrr! Rrrrrroooowwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeerrrrr!"
Me - "AAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! "
Then comes the crapping of the pants and the fainting.
Stunned Alien - "Huh?"
Commanding Officer - "THERE HE IS!!!! SHOOT HIM!!!"
BANG! BIGGITY! BAM-BAM! RAT-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT!! BOOM BOOM BOOM!!!
Commanding Officer - "Hold your fire! Hold your fire! We killed him. Wake up Jared, we killed it. Good Job soldier. Now put on some clean pants and lets check the next room."
That all just seems more realistic to me.
5 comments:
I have a couple of questions too:
1) Why are humans always afraid of the aliens, but the aliens are never afraid of the humans? Wouldn't we be just as strange to them as they are to us?
2) Why do aliens stand there and growl and gurgle for a couple of minutes when they encounter a human? If they were here to kill us, wouldn't they just kill us the moment they saw us instead of standing there waiving their tentacles and growling like an idiot?
If I ever run into an alien, I'm going to invite him to participate in a friendly game of Italian Arm Wrestling.
I bet aliens are like sharks. One good punch in the mouf or a dolphin cut-out and they'll make like a baker's delivery truck and haul buns.
Not to mention which, aliens are always portrayed as primitive war-mongers with advanced technology or bestial predators. Wouldn't the scariest alien by the refined space-faring gentleman who makes you look like a rube and steals all your women? I mean, anyone can nuke a beastie, but how do you fight intergalactic class?
Okay, you said that you would move on the the next room after the first. Wouldn't you be out of poop and then just resort to fainting...would that really have the same effect?
Come on man...this has to be realistic.
In cases of panic or fright, the body can create unlimited amounts of crap, secreted from other organs or in areas around the intestines.
FACT!
You are going to ruin horror movies for EVERYONE.
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