- Trade in driver's license for handbook of spells
- Purchase Scott Summer's brand sunglasses with coupon
- Recruit evil army of mall walkers
- Learn to teleport to Bob Evans
- Bicker at squirrels
- Drive a golf cart into a lake and blame it on computers
- Literally write checks my butt can't cash
- Fill walking cane with whiskey
- Learn to tap dance
- Whip her
- Snap her
- Re-open Tippins Restaurants
- Collect deadly coins
- Move La-Z-Boy to front porch
- Take over the world by 4pm
- Sleep like a ninja
Saturday, December 8, 2007
My "Turning 75" to-do list
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